The Penny Drops
Penny, the newest poltergeist from Hire-A-Geist sat on a box in a pitch dark room. She blew into her hands, forgetting she had no breath to warm them. I’m too frozen to work.
“Honey, it’s only a fuse,” Adulterer shouted from the cellar. Woman Scorned smiled at Penny and left the house.
Clock struck the appointed time. Woman Scorned had an alibi.
Penny picked up the iron and dropped it on Adulterer’s head. Adulterer no more. Woman Scorned free.
Penny, the newest poltergeist from Hire-A-Geist sat on a box in a pitch dark room. She blew into her hands, forgetting she had no breath to warm them. I’m too frozen to work.
“Honey, it’s only a fuse,” Adulterer shouted from the cellar. Woman Scorned smiled at Penny and left the house.
Clock struck the appointed time. Woman Scorned had an alibi.
Penny picked up the iron and dropped it on Adulterer’s head. Adulterer no more. Woman Scorned free.
Spice Child
Spice Child's life is hot and vile.
working hard in the spice mines
just another unloved, lonely chile
with parents working at the lines
they'd no time to love and care
His life was far from nice or fair
twas a miserable nightmare
So he ran away…
In Chocolate Land life was very sweet
with parents who couldn't be beat
no more work at the hot spice seam
'cos his nightmare became a dream.
Spice Child's life is hot and vile.
working hard in the spice mines
just another unloved, lonely chile
with parents working at the lines
they'd no time to love and care
His life was far from nice or fair
twas a miserable nightmare
So he ran away…
In Chocolate Land life was very sweet
with parents who couldn't be beat
no more work at the hot spice seam
'cos his nightmare became a dream.
Hat Band
Ole Jim Murphy climbed on board the train bound for some place in the deep Ole West.
He felt the stare and interest of his whispering companions. After many decades of life he was used to the attention. His hat, at least twenty-gallons and bright pink, was famous in these here parts and twelve other counties.
Finally, a man leaned forward. "Can we see it?" he whispered in awe.
Jim winked, smiled and with a flourish whipped off his prized headgear.
He leaned back and listened to the lice band play their soothing lullaby.
Ole Jim Murphy climbed on board the train bound for some place in the deep Ole West.
He felt the stare and interest of his whispering companions. After many decades of life he was used to the attention. His hat, at least twenty-gallons and bright pink, was famous in these here parts and twelve other counties.
Finally, a man leaned forward. "Can we see it?" he whispered in awe.
Jim winked, smiled and with a flourish whipped off his prized headgear.
He leaned back and listened to the lice band play their soothing lullaby.
Milt Bank
Behind the reception desk, a pretty Merwoman smiled at him from beneath her horn-rimmed spectacles. A green light appeared above one of the doors and she said, “They will see you now. Would you like some reading material?”
“Thank you.”
Her webbed hand grazed his as she handed him the tablet showing delectable, naked merladies. He entered the perpetuation room just like his father had twenty years ago.
Behind the reception desk, a pretty Merwoman smiled at him from beneath her horn-rimmed spectacles. A green light appeared above one of the doors and she said, “They will see you now. Would you like some reading material?”
“Thank you.”
Her webbed hand grazed his as she handed him the tablet showing delectable, naked merladies. He entered the perpetuation room just like his father had twenty years ago.
Two Sides to Every Story
Eve crunched on her apple and stepped back to admire her handiwork. Beneath the cave painting of the large man wearing only fig leaves the caption read. “The wimp framed me.”
The man was weak, he sampled the forbidden fruit. When God asked Adam he had blamed Eve. Her children were being taught that her actions were why the Earth had fallen and would one day die. This set the record straight.
Eve crunched on her apple and stepped back to admire her handiwork. Beneath the cave painting of the large man wearing only fig leaves the caption read. “The wimp framed me.”
The man was weak, he sampled the forbidden fruit. When God asked Adam he had blamed Eve. Her children were being taught that her actions were why the Earth had fallen and would one day die. This set the record straight.
Tea and Ghosts
Snow fell all around Wilf and Doris as they sat on their habitual bench in a rundown part of town. With their arms linked, they watched the flakes fall past the gloom of the streetlight. Doris poured tea from the tartan flask and Wilf accepted his cup with a kiss.
They blew over the top of their tea in unison and contemplated the long abandoned church across the road. Lights flashed, music from a bygone era blared and figures in fancy dress milled around. Doris leaned her head to the side and smiled. She pointed at a young man. “Costumes are fantastic. He looks just like you did when you came back from the war.” Her face broke into a smile and she kissed Wilf’s cheek.
“None of them girls are a patch on you.” He returned the kiss and gave her an impish grin. “Got any biscuits, love.”
Snow fell all around Wilf and Doris as they sat on their habitual bench in a rundown part of town. With their arms linked, they watched the flakes fall past the gloom of the streetlight. Doris poured tea from the tartan flask and Wilf accepted his cup with a kiss.
They blew over the top of their tea in unison and contemplated the long abandoned church across the road. Lights flashed, music from a bygone era blared and figures in fancy dress milled around. Doris leaned her head to the side and smiled. She pointed at a young man. “Costumes are fantastic. He looks just like you did when you came back from the war.” Her face broke into a smile and she kissed Wilf’s cheek.
“None of them girls are a patch on you.” He returned the kiss and gave her an impish grin. “Got any biscuits, love.”
Detectives In the Closet
Joe fastened his soft leather belt, removed his shoes from between the bottles of cleaning fluid and sat on a box marked flammable to put them on. “Shirt!”
“Crap!” Tim rammed his shirt into his slacks. “Look… Guv… umm…”
Standing up, Joe very gently placed three fingers over Tim's lips. “Shh." He licked his lips a little. "Next Thursday?”
Unable to meet Joe's eyes, Tim nodded. “Thanks.” Opening the door, Tim checked the corridor. “All clear.”
Joe fastened his soft leather belt, removed his shoes from between the bottles of cleaning fluid and sat on a box marked flammable to put them on. “Shirt!”
“Crap!” Tim rammed his shirt into his slacks. “Look… Guv… umm…”
Standing up, Joe very gently placed three fingers over Tim's lips. “Shh." He licked his lips a little. "Next Thursday?”
Unable to meet Joe's eyes, Tim nodded. “Thanks.” Opening the door, Tim checked the corridor. “All clear.”
Teddy Boldly Goes
Kirsta held tight to Teddy – one ear missing but she didn’t care. Nobody had asked Kirsta if she wanted to travel halfway across the universe, away from those she loved. Daddy promised her everything would be all right and she trusted him but it still hurt. Teddy still smelled of grandpa’s aftershave. Closing her eyes, she let the scent remind her of home. Everything would be all right it had to be.
Kirsta held tight to Teddy – one ear missing but she didn’t care. Nobody had asked Kirsta if she wanted to travel halfway across the universe, away from those she loved. Daddy promised her everything would be all right and she trusted him but it still hurt. Teddy still smelled of grandpa’s aftershave. Closing her eyes, she let the scent remind her of home. Everything would be all right it had to be.